"欲しいものが手に入らなかったときに得たものが経験です"

When you don't get what you want, what you do get is experience. That's the core idea here. It’s a simple yet profound observation about how our failures or unmet expectations actually offer us something valuable — experience.

Think about it. Let’s say you applied for your dream job and didn't get it. Sure, you’re disappointed. But along the way, you learned how to write a killer resume, maybe you aced parts of the interview, and you got a better idea of what you really want in a career. That’s experience you didn’t have before.

This idea came from Randy Pausch, a computer science professor who delivered a famous “Last Lecture” after being diagnosed with terminal cancer. He wasn’t someone just tossing out feel-good phrases. He lived it. When he didn’t get his dream job at Disney, he ended up working there later through a different path, and it was partly because he had built up so much experience in his field.

Here’s a real-life example that might hit home. Imagine you've spent months training for a marathon. You’ve done everything right — diet, sleep, miles and miles of running. But on the day of the race, you twist your ankle and can’t finish. It's crushing. You’re sitting there on the sidewalk, watching others cross the finish line, feeling that sting of disappointment. But then you reflect. You’ve gained discipline, you’ve pushed your limits, you’ve learned the importance of listening to your body. All that knowledge and resilience can’t be taken away, even if you didn’t get to break the tape at the end.

Now, how do you apply this wisdom? First, don’t beat yourself up when things don’t go your way. It’s easy to wallow in what feels like failure, but try to flip it. Ask yourself, “What did I learn?” Maybe you discovered new strengths or realized you need to develop certain skills. Keep a journal and jot down these lessons. Over time, you’ll likely see patterns that can guide you toward success in future endeavors.

Picture this: You’re in a coffee shop, telling this to a friend. She’s upset because her startup didn’t take off. You listen, then share your own story about a time you missed out on a big opportunity. It hurt, but looking back, you see how that detour led you to something better. Maybe it’s not what you wanted at the time, but you wouldn’t trade the experience you gained.

We’ve all been there, right? Sometimes life gives us a hard no, and it stings. But those moments are often the ones that shape us the most. They teach us persistence, creativity, and resilience. So next time you find yourself facing an unexpected turn or a closed door, take a deep breath. Remember that while you may not have gotten what you wanted, you got something else: experience. And that’s incredibly valuable.