There's two buttons I never like to hit, all right? And that's "panic" and "snooze".

This line is genuine Ted Lasso dialogue, spoken by the character (played by Jason Sudeikis) in Season 2, Episode 1, "Goodbye Earl," which premiered on Apple TV+ on July 23, 2021. In the scene, a reporter asks Ted at a post-match press conference how many more draws it will take before he hits the panic button, and Ted deflects with the pun — his canonical phrasing being "there's two buttons I never like to hit, all right? And that's 'panic' and 'snooze,'" a quip a contemporaneous July 2021 review flagged as an early Season 2 standout. The submitted version ("There's two buttons I never like to hit: that's panic and snooze") is a lightly smoothed variant that drops the "all right?" and the "and," but it faithfully preserves the joke and is not a distortion. We found no earlier or competing origin — this is original scripted dialogue written by Brendan Hunt for the series, not a repurposed older saying — so the only nuance worth noting is that the credited "author" is a fictional character voicing a screenwriter's line. On the strength of the episode itself and multiple matching transcripts, the attribution is confirmed.