UNVERIFIED

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Unverified

We haven't checked the source or attribution.

Our editorial team hasn't reviewed this quote yet, so neither its source nor its attribution has been confirmed. Treat it as unverified for now.

Translations

MORE QUOTES BY Jerry Seinfeld

“I prefer the old theaters because the theaters themselves are places of public gathering. ...”

Jerry Seinfeld

“Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s our job to stomp on t...”

“Well, you know the thing you wear around your neck that holds your ID badge? I call that a...”

“Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop...”

FEATURED QUOTES

“Love never keeps a man from pursuing his destiny.”

“Wake up determined. Go to bed satisfied.”

“I will go anywhere as long as it is forward”

“This too shall pass”

“Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet”

“If you don't find a way to make money while you sleep, you will work until you die”

“To sit on an idea or fail to act on a goal is not really goal-setting, but wishful thinking.”

“Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.”

“I believe the truth is only offensive when we’re lying.”

“The root of suffering is attachment.”