"أكثر الآباء والأقارب حباً يرتكبون القتل بابتسامات على وجوههم يجبروننا على تدمير الشخص الذي نحن عليه حقاً"

This quote captures a rather dark, but significant, aspect of human relationships, particularly within families. It’s about the idea that those who love us the most can sometimes cause us the most harm—not through overt acts of malice, but through their expectations and pressures that, while well-intentioned, can stifle our true selves.

Think about a parent who always wanted their child to become a doctor. From the moment their kid can talk, they’re surrounded by anatomy books and stories of medical heroism. The parent's hopes and dreams are heavy on their shoulders, disguised as encouragement and love. "You can do it,” they say, “I believe in you.” But what if the child dreams of being an artist instead? The conflict between the child’s true desires and the parent’s expectations can lead to an internal struggle, forcing the child to choose between their own happiness and their parents’ approval.

This sentiment isn’t new. Throughout history, we've seen countless examples of individuals pressured to conform to the expectations of those around them. Take Vincent van Gogh, for example. His early life was marked by the pressures of his family to succeed in more conventional ways—first in the church, then in the professional world. It wasn’t until he broke away from these expectations, albeit with great personal difficulty, that he truly began to express himself through his art. He faced loneliness, mental health struggles, and familial disappointment, but he persisted and became the artist we admire today.

Imagine a young woman named Layla. She's got a knack for storytelling and dreams of being a writer. But her family? They’re all engineers, proud of their practical, stable careers. From a young age, Layla’s pushed into math competitions, science clubs, and eventually, an engineering degree. Her family’s pride in her achievements feels like a warm embrace, but inside, she’s suffocating. She writes in secret, late at night, the glow of her laptop a small rebellion against the life that’s been mapped out for her. She submits a story to a magazine under a pseudonym—and it gets published. The joy she feels isn’t just from seeing her name in print (even if it’s a fake one). It’s the validation of her true self, the one that’s been buried under years of familial expectations.

So, how do you apply this wisdom? First, recognize that love and expectations often come intertwined. It’s crucial to differentiate between what others want for you and what you want for yourself. Have open conversations with your loved ones about your dreams and desires. It’s scary, sure, but it’s necessary. Set boundaries—not in a confrontational way, but with kindness and firmness. Pursue your passions, even if it’s just in small ways at first. Layla didn’t quit her engineering degree overnight; she wrote in her spare time until she could do more of what she loved.

Picture this: You’re sitting at a family dinner, the usual chatter about safe, conventional career paths filling the air. Your heart races because tonight, you’ve decided to speak up. You take a deep breath and share your passion—whatever it might be. There’s a moment of silence, then a flurry of questions and perhaps some concerns. But you’ve done it. You’ve planted the seed of your true self in the conversation. It might take time for everyone to come around, but you’ve taken the first step in being true to who you are.

By understanding and acknowledging the pressures from those who love us, we can gently, but firmly, carve out a space for our true selves. It’s not easy, and there will be bumps along the way, but it’s worth it. After all, living someone else’s dream is a sure way to a life of regret. Living your own? That’s where you find real fulfillment.