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"Desire is rooted in the unexpected and the unknown."

Esther Perel
Esther Perel Psychotherapist
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Quote meaning
Desire often springs from what we can't predict or don’t fully understand. It’s the element of surprise and mystery that ignites that burning want inside us. Think about it — if you know every twist and turn of a story, you might lose interest. But if there’s an unexpected plot twist, you’re hooked.

Historically, people have always been drawn to the unknown. Take the Age of Exploration in the 15th century. Sailors like Christopher Columbus set out to discover new lands, driven by a desire fueled by the unknown territories that lay across the ocean. They didn't know what awaited them — riches, new cultures, or even danger. It was this very uncertainty that propelled them forward, pushing the boundaries of the known world.

Let’s dive into a real-life example. Imagine you're an avid reader, and you come across a book with a synopsis that’s cryptic and intriguing. It doesn’t give away much but suggests a thrilling, unpredictable journey. That’s the book you’re likely to pick, right? It’s because the unexpected plot and the unknown outcome stir your curiosity and desire more than a predictable story would.

So, how can you apply this wisdom in your own life? Well, think about your goals and dreams. If you want to fuel your passion for something, introduce an element of the unknown. If you’re working on a creative project, like writing a novel or starting a business, don’t plan out every single detail. Leave some room for unexpected twists. This can keep your enthusiasm high and your desire burning.

Or, say you’re in a relationship that’s starting to feel routine. Plan a surprise for your partner — a spontaneous weekend getaway or an unexpected heartfelt gift. The element of surprise can reignite the spark and remind both of you of the excitement you felt when you first met.

Here’s a relatable scenario to bring this all home. Think about Jane, a software developer who’s hit a bit of a rut with her work. Every day feels the same, and she’s losing her passion for coding. One day, she stumbles upon a hackathon advertisement. It’s an event where participants are given a problem they know nothing about until the day it starts. She decides to sign up. The unpredictability of the challenge excites her. She doesn’t know what problem she’ll face, who she’ll meet, or how things will unfold. It’s all unknown — and that’s what reignites her desire to code.

By diving into the unexpected, Jane finds herself energized and passionate again. She meets new people, learns new things, and the thrill of not knowing what’s next keeps her on her toes. She rediscovers why she fell in love with coding in the first place.

Remember, sometimes, it’s precisely the unknown and the unexpected that breathe life into our desires. So, embrace a bit of mystery in your life. Whether it’s in your work, personal projects, or relationships, let the unpredictable excite you. It’s that element of surprise that often keeps our desires lively and strong.
Related tags
Desire Emotion Exploration Human nature Longing Mystery Psychology Unexpected Unknown Unpredictability
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