"جهان به ما تسلیت یا تسلی بدهکار نیست به ما احساس گرم و خوشایند درونی بدهکار نیست"

Life can be tough, right? We often find ourselves yearning for comfort or a sense of peace when things go sideways. But here's the kicker—life, or the universe for that matter, doesn't promise us that. It doesn't owe us any comfort or a pat on the back when we’re down. We're not entitled to a warm, fuzzy feeling just because we exist.

This idea hits hard because it’s a reminder of how indifferent the universe can be. It's not out to get us, but it's not here to cushion our falls either. This perspective helps us grasp that seeking comfort is a part of our human nature, but expecting it as a given—well, that’s a different story.

Think back to the ancient Stoics, like Epictetus. They believed that our suffering often comes from our expectations. If you expect the universe to be fair or to give you what you think you deserve, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. The Stoics argued that it’s not external events that upset us, but our judgments about them. Pretty deep, huh?

Imagine a scenario: you’re at work, slaving away on a project you’ve poured your heart into. You expect recognition, maybe a bonus or at least a heartfelt thank you. The day for announcements comes, and you get... nothing. Zilch. Your heart sinks, and you feel a wave of frustration and sadness. It seems unfair, doesn't it? But the universe doesn’t owe you that recognition. It’s a stark truth, and it stings.

Here's a tip to navigate this: adjust your expectations. It’s not about lowering your standards; it’s about aligning your mindset with reality. Understand that the universe is neutral. It’s not against you, but it’s not specifically for you either. When you stop expecting it to cater to your emotional needs, you start focusing on what you can control—your actions, your responses, your perspective.

Imagine telling a friend this over coffee. They’re venting about how their efforts in a relationship aren’t reciprocated with the same level of affection. You listen, and then you gently say, "Hey, I get it. It hurts. But remember, the universe doesn’t owe us that comfort. Maybe it’s time to focus on what you can do for yourself, instead of what you’re not getting from others."

Here’s a story that might resonate: Jane had always been an overachiever. In school, at work, everywhere. She always expected life to reward her hard work with success and happiness. But when her startup failed despite all her efforts, she was crushed. Jane felt that life had been unfair. It was through a lot of soul-searching and, yes, some therapy, that she realized her expectations had been her downfall. She learned to find satisfaction in her efforts, regardless of the outcome. Her new mantra? “The universe owes me nothing, but I owe myself everything I can give.”

So, when life throws you a curveball, remember—it's not personal. The universe is just being the universe. Focus on what you can control and let go of the rest. By doing so, you’ll find a resilience within you that doesn’t rely on external validation. And that, my friend, is a game-changer.