Witticism Quotes

"If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty" "What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet." "One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas, I'll never know." "After all, what is a pedestrian? He is a man who has two cars - one being driven by his wife, the other by one of his children"