Cynicism Quotes

"You could never convince a monkey to give you a banana by promising him bananas after death in monkey heaven" "Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem" "Perhaps I am old and tired, but I always think that the chances of finding out what really goes on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to follow the instructions of the professionals across generations and the world and plot to do a little harm as possible." "I have never known anyone worth a damn who wasn't irrevocably cynical." "Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are even stupider. That's scary." "If you think this has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention" "Sometimes the funniest thing to say is mean." "What will I be doing in twenty years' time? I'll be dead, darling! Are you crazy?" "The more cynical reason people give in to totalitarianism is that they can't stand the boredom of total liberty." "You can't buy love, but you can rent it" "After coming into contact with a religious man, I always feel I must wash my hands" "A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar" "Cynic: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be" "A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin"