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George Carlin Quotes

Biography: George Carlin was known for his groundbreaking stand-up comedy and soc... more Biography: George Carlin was known for his groundbreaking stand-up comedy and social critical commentary. Born in 1937, Carlin's incisive humor addressed taboo subjects, pushing boundaries with his famous "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" routine. He was a prolific performer, author, and actor until his death in 2008. less
"The reason I don’t spend much time planning or worrying is because it's like trying to kill a fly with a sledgehammer."
Tags: Mindfulness, Perspective, Mental health, Life philosophy, Efficiency
"There’s a big difference between kneeling down and bending over."
Tags: Respect, Control, Authority, Self-respect, Power dynamics
"The greatest crimes in the world are not committed by people breaking the rules but by people following the rules."
Tags: Ethics, Society, Morality, Power, Authority
"Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are even stupider. That's scary."
Tags: Self-awareness, Humor, Intelligence, Judgment, Sarcasm
"I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away."
Tags: Humor, Healthcare, Relief
"I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade"
Tags: Humor, Society, Poverty, Observation, Social issues
"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important "
Tags: Authenticity, Truth, Ethics, Integrity, Trust
"People who say "life is short" have no idea how long "
Tags: Philosophy, Life, Perspective, Perception, Reflection
"Think off-center."
Tags: Creativity, Innovation, Imagination, Originality, Nonconformity
"The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment."
Tags: Humor, Ethics, Sarcasm, Legal system, Work environment
"When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?"
Tags: Wisdom, Perspective, Reflection, Humor, Curiosity
"The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions."
Tags: Education, Society, Mortality, Health, Satire
"Autograph your work with quality."
Tags: Integrity, Dedication, Work ethic, Excellence, Quality
"There are no rights. There are only privileges."
Tags: Philosophy, Ethics, Society, Justice, Human rights
"One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like"
Tags: Exploration, Uncertainty, Mystery, Solitude, Isolation
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