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"There’s a big difference between kneeling down and bending over."

Translations

MORE QUOTES BY George Carlin

“There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions. And words.”

George Carlin

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”

“One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like”

“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”

FEATURED QUOTES

“If you’re absent during my struggle don’t expect to be present during my success.”

“The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.”

“You are what you believe yourself to be.”

“The best thing I did was to choose the right heroes”

“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.”

“I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to you all day long and I assume you deserve it.”

“Love is not blind. It simply enables one to see things others fail to see.”

“Love the life you live. Live the life you love.”

“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”

“A friend to all is a friend to none.”