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Steven Wright Quotes

Biography: Steven Wright is known for his deadpan delivery and surreal humor as a... more Biography: Steven Wright is known for his deadpan delivery and surreal humor as a stand-up comedian. With his distinctive monotone voice and slow, deliberate pacing, Wright has captivated audiences worldwide. He won an Academy Award for his short film "The Appointments of Dennis Jennings" and has released several critically acclaimed comedy albums. less
"I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking," but I don't have that much time."
Tags: Humor, Time management, Irony, Satire, Wordplay
"Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now."
Tags: Productivity, Hard work, Discipline, Self-discipline, Motivational
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
Tags: Philosophy, Perspective, Life lessons, Humor, Contentment
"I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically."
Tags: Humor, Irony, Funny, Wordplay, Shopping
"Half the people you know are below average."
Tags: Wisdom, Perception, Humor, Insight, Paradox
"I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding."
Tags: Spirituality, Reflection, Religion, Accountability, Civilization
"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
Tags: Philosophy, Wisdom, Perseverance, Perspective, Reflection
"I wrote a song, but I can't read music, so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while, I'll be listening to the radio and I say, I think I might have written that."
Tags: Inspiration, Creativity, Music, Mystery, Artistic process
"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done, so now I just have to fill in the rest."
Tags: Creativity, Humor, Literature, Writing, Books
"Join the Army, meet interesting people - then kill them."
Tags: Satire, Military, Dark humor, Combat, Anti-war
"If you were to try to fail, and you succeed, which have you done?"
Tags: Philosophy, Success, Humor, Failure, Paradox
"If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?"
Tags: Philosophy, Perception, Knowledge, Humor, Language
"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."
Tags: Motivation, Philosophy, Determination, Mindset, Perspective
"When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."
Tags: Motivation, Self-improvement, Wisdom, Success, Life
"Even snakes are afraid of snakes."
Tags: Nature, Fear, Paradox, Irony, Anxiety
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