Satire Quotes

"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography" "Cynic: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be" "A conservative is a statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the liberal who wishes to replace them with others" "Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling" "Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish" "The truthiness is, anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news at you." "Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods" "To govern means to pillage, as everyone knows." "Today, if you invent a better mousetrap, the government comes along with a better mouse." "A clergyman is one who feels himself called upon to live without working" "Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry." "Let blockheads read what blockheads wrote"