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Satire Quotes

"You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend"

"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it."

"Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them"

"Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?"

"I'll say things that are serious and put them in a joke form so people can enjoy them"

"That's my lesson for taking a vacation: Vacation will kill you."

"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it"

"Join the Army, meet interesting people - then kill them."

"Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny"

"If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty"

"Genuine polemics approach a book as lovingly as a cannibal spices a baby."

"Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion"

"Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost five thousand dollars"

"Today, if you invent a better mousetrap, the government comes along with a better mouse."

"If stupidity got us in this mess, how come it can't get us out?"

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