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Satire Quotes

"I bought some powdered water but I don't know what to add"

"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."

"A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar"

"I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking," but I don't have that much time."

"For what do we live but to make sport for our neighbours and laugh at them in our turn"

"Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so"

"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death"

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasn't it"

"A conservative is a statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the liberal who wishes to replace them with others"

"The story so far In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

"You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think"

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."

"In California they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows"

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately"

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