Satire Quotes

"Military justice is to justice what military music is to music." "Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so" "Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost five thousand dollars" "Genuine polemics approach a book as lovingly as a cannibal spices a baby." "The moment you say that any idea system is sacred, whether it's a religious belief system or a secular ideology, the moment you declare a set of ideas to be immune from criticism, satire, derision or contempt, freedom of thought becomes impossible." "The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions." "The Electric Monk was a labor-saving device, like a dishwasher." "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." "Be careful about reading health books. You may die" "I'll say things that are serious and put them in a joke form so people can enjoy them" "Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy" "A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar" "Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage" "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." "Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage"