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Television Quotes

"The key to sitcom success is miserable people."

"In Beverly Hills they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows."

"I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book."

"In general, my children refused to eat anything that hadn't danced on TV."

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

"People forget about books. They're always just turning on the television, but reading a good book is the most nourishing thing you can do."

"I drink and I know things"

"So, please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install a lovely bookshelf on the wall."

"There is only one war that matters the Great War and it is here"

"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television."

"There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can't say on television. What a ratio that is. 399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They’d have to be outrageous to be separated from a group that large"

"There's 206 bones in the human body, 207 when I'm watching gossip girl."

"Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV."