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George Carlin Quotes

Biography: George Carlin was known for his groundbreaking stand-up comedy and soc... more Biography: George Carlin was known for his groundbreaking stand-up comedy and social critical commentary. Born in 1937, Carlin's incisive humor addressed taboo subjects, pushing boundaries with his famous "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" routine. He was a prolific performer, author, and actor until his death in 2008. less

"The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music"

Tags: Philosophy, Spirituality, Art, Religion, History

"Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist"

Tags: Philosophy, Human nature, Psychology, Worldview, Inner conflict

"A joke is a very serious thing"

Tags: Philosophy, Wisdom, Perspective, Truth, Humor

"As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything"

Tags: Philosophy, Commitment, Priorities, Sarcasm, Principle

"Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror"

Tags: Reflection, Sport, Athletics, Mirror, Baseball

"Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong"

Tags: Nature, Environment, Conservation, Recreation, Outdoor activities

"It’s called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it"

Tags: Belief, Illusion, Satire, Cynicism, American dream

"I'd hate to be an alcoholic, because alcoholics want to be able to drink as much as they want and not have it affect their life. I just don't see how you could drink while working at the post office"

Tags: Mental health, Responsibility, Self-control, Work-life balance, Addiction

"The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it"

Tags: Truth, Humor, Society, Reality, Illusion

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose"

Tags: Humor, Irony, Books, Life advice, Wit

"When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front-row seat"

Tags: Philosophy, Humor, Society, Irony, Satire

"There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can't say on television. What a ratio that is. 399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They’d have to be outrageous to be separated from a group that large"

Tags: Language, Comedy, Words, Speech, Media

"We're so self-important. Everybody's going to save something now. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. Save the planet? We don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We're gonna save the fucking planet?"

Tags: Self-awareness, Humor, Humanity, Irony, Sustainability

"Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it"

Tags: Relationships, Understanding, Humanity, Society, Unity

"I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fucking heroic"

Tags: Inspiration, Resilience, Perseverance, Growth, Strength

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