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George Carlin Quotes

Biography: George Carlin was known for his groundbreaking stand-up comedy and soc... more Biography: George Carlin was known for his groundbreaking stand-up comedy and social critical commentary. Born in 1937, Carlin's incisive humor addressed taboo subjects, pushing boundaries with his famous "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" routine. He was a prolific performer, author, and actor until his death in 2008. less
"Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense!"
Tags: Safety, Fitness, Common sense, Sport, Physical activity
"There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it."
Tags: Resilience, Mindset, Positivity, Perspective, Humor
"A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff."
Tags: Lifestyle, Comfort, Materialism, Home, Consumerism
"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"
Tags: Self-awareness, Perspective, Perception, Humor, Human behavior
"When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foot's hands."
Tags: Responsibility, Awareness, Decision-making, Control, Caution
"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
Tags: Humor, Christmas, Santa claus
"I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work."
Tags: Innovation, Freedom, Self-determination, Liberty, Open-mindedness
"Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit."
Tags: Work ethic, Job satisfaction, Career growth, Workplace culture, Employee engagement
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
Tags: Humor, Irony, Protection, Safety, Blessing
"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."
Tags: Philosophy, Humor, Belief, Soul, Death
"Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience."
Tags: Wisdom, Humor, Communication, Psychology, Patience
"I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds."
Tags: Mental health, Anger, Intensity, Hatred, Psyche
"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor."
Tags: Humor, Alcohol, Party, Intoxication, Drinking
"In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem."
Tags: Leadership, Politics, Government, Democracy, Criticism
"Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it."
Tags: Self-awareness, Perception, Confidence, Life lessons, Humor
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