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George Carlin Quotes

Biography: George Carlin was known for his groundbreaking stand-up comedy and soc... more Biography: George Carlin was known for his groundbreaking stand-up comedy and social critical commentary. Born in 1937, Carlin's incisive humor addressed taboo subjects, pushing boundaries with his famous "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" routine. He was a prolific performer, author, and actor until his death in 2008. less
"When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foot's hands."
Tags: Responsibility, Awareness, Decision-making, Control, Caution
"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
Tags: Humor, Christmas, Santa claus
"I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work."
Tags: Innovation, Freedom, Self-determination, Liberty, Open-mindedness
"Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit."
Tags: Work ethic, Job satisfaction, Career growth, Workplace culture, Employee engagement
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
Tags: Humor, Irony, Protection, Safety, Blessing
"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."
Tags: Philosophy, Humor, Belief, Soul, Death
"Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience."
Tags: Wisdom, Humor, Communication, Psychology, Patience
"I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds."
Tags: Mental health, Anger, Intensity, Hatred, Psyche
"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor."
Tags: Humor, Alcohol, Party, Intoxication, Drinking
"In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem."
Tags: Leadership, Politics, Government, Democracy, Criticism
"Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it."
Tags: Self-awareness, Perception, Confidence, Life lessons, Humor
"There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions. And words."
Tags: Philosophy, Communication, Ethics, Morality, Expression
"We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often."
Tags: Love, Relationships, Communication, Ethics, Values
"If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?"
Tags: Philosophy, Success, Humor, Failure, Paradox
"I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me."
Tags: Critical thinking, Self-reliance, Skepticism, Cynicism, Personal philosophy
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