Witty Quotes

"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age." "I intend to live forever. So far, so good." "Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion" "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." "Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution." "I never forget a face but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception" "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasn't it" "I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer." "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes" "My weaknesses have always been food and men—in that order" "I can resist everything except temptation" "He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of" "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." "I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own" "When I'm good I'm very good, but when I'm bad I'm better"