Sign in Sign up

Witty Quotes

"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age."

"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes"

"I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now."

"I can resist everything except temptation"

"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond."

"I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own"

"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."

"As usual there is a great woman behind every idiot"

"Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish"

"Don't be humble... you're not that great"

"My weaknesses have always been food and men—in that order"

"When I'm good I'm very good, but when I'm bad I'm better"

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."

"I'd give my right arm to be... ambidextrous"

"Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution."

1 2 Next