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Humor Quotes

"You can’t have a sense of humor without disappointment. You have to go through moments of unhappiness to get to the funny stuff."

"I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens"

"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy"

"Words are cheap. The biggest thing you can say is 'elephant'."

"When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?"

"I'm an instant star. Just add water and stir."

"The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people they think it's their fault"

"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"

"I think laughter is the best medicine. If you can't laugh, you're probably not having a good time"

"In general, my children refused to eat anything that hadn't danced on TV."

"A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know."

"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe and it has a longer shelf life"

"I went to a place to eat it said breakfast any time so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance"

"I should be a postage stamp. That's the only way I'll ever get licked."

"Recession is when a neighbor loses his job Depression is when you lose yours. Reagan is when the economists lose theirs"

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