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Humor Quotes

"Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society."

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't fly"

"Beauty, n: The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband"

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose"

"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like 'See if you can blow this out'"

"My weaknesses have always been food and men—in that order"

"I've never been embarrassed about having streaks in my drawers. You know, it's all part of growing up."

"I'm a pretty nice dude. I have fun, and people take it the wrong way."

"Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny."

"I swear, I'm the least funny person on the planet… mgaaaah!!"

"The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

"I am drawn to films that recognize their own absurdity and find a way to embrace it."

"The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help."

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

"You're only as young as the woman you feel."

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