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Humor Quotes

"Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart."

"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men"

"Wit and humor do not reside in slow minds "

"Why do you laugh? Change the name and the story is about you"

"9: In heaven, all the interesting people are missing."

"The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket."

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die"

"When I'm good I'm very good, but when I'm bad I'm better"

"If love were oil, I'd be about a quart low"

"You can’t deny laughter; when it comes, it plops out"

"Everything you see I owe to spaghetti"

"To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness."

"I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved."

"Talking nonsense is man's only privilege that distinguishes him from all other organisms."

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