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Irony Quotes

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."

"He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife."

"The worst thing about being wise is that you are perpetually being asked why you aren’t rich."

"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank."

"All generalizations are false, including this one"

"The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast."

"When I got enough confidence the stage was gone When I was sure of Losing I won When I needed people the most they left me When I learnt to dry my tears I found a shoulder to cry on When I mastered the skill of hating Someone started loving me"

"A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married"

"I suspect people of plotting to make me happy"

"We hurt people that love us, love people that hurt us"

"I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens"

"The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people they think it's their fault"

"A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know."

"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe and it has a longer shelf life"

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't fly"

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