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Sarcasm Quotes

"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."

"As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything"

"I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak."

"I never forget a face but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception"

"Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are even stupider. That's scary."

"It's not easy being drunk all the time. Everyone would do it if it were easy."

"I used to be Snow White, but I drifted."

"I'm not offended by all the dumb blond jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blond"

"I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that."

"I am really good at being sarcastic with guys. That's the best way to hang out with them, because that's what guys are like."

"Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins."

"Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it."

"I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park"

"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools"

"No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early."

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