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Humor Quotes

"To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it"

"My focus is to forget the pain of life. Forget the pain, mock the pain, reduce it. And laugh"

"If you were going to shoot a mime would you use a silencer"

"A foolproof plan cannot be wise-proof."

"A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain."

"My boy loves his friends like I love my split ends"

"I intend to live forever, or die trying."

"I am so busy doing nothing that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything."

"For what do we live but to make sport for our neighbours and laugh at them in our turn"

"Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so"

"Comedy is acting out optimism."

"It’s better to have loved and lost than do forty pounds of laundry a week."

"I'd give my right arm to be... ambidextrous"

"Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution."

"No matter how much I try to be just a normal guy, I can't help but put a joke in there every now and then"

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