Humor Quotes

"To make mistakes is human; to stumble is commonplace; to be able to laugh at yourself is maturity." "I'm an instant star. Just add water and stir." "You can’t deny laughter; when it comes, it plops out" "A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas" "Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too." "An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup." "A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know." "Opera in English, is about as sensible as baseball in Italian." "Recession is when a neighbor loses his job Depression is when you lose yours. Reagan is when the economists lose theirs" "Time to make the chimi-f***ing-changas" "Sex is kicking death in the ass while singing." "It's true hard work never killed anybody but why take the chance?" "A wit's a feather, and a chief a rod" "A banana peel is not funny when you are the one slipping on it" "All generalizations are false, including this one"