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Humor Quotes

"A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours"

"A philosopher is someone who won't take your watch away to tell you what time it is"

"I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don’t have as many people who believe it"

"You hit like a vegetarian"

"My relationship with death remains the same. I'm strongly against it."

"And when there isn't anything around to make me laugh, I make something up."

"Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it"

"I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability."

"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."

"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it."

"I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time"

"I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn’t have to go so fast."

"Like a welcome summer rain humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth the air and you"

"There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments"

"Many a truth is said in jest"

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